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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The GOP's War on Teddy Roosevelt



U.S. Politics

The GOP's War on Teddy Roosevelt

While Glenn Beck disowns him, Obama just announced that he's reading the Rough Rider's biography. John Avlon on how a former Republican president helps define dysfunction in his own party. 

avlon-teddy-roosevelt_86179
AP Photo (2)
While Glenn Beck disowns him, Obama just announced that he's reading the Rough Rider's biography. John Avlon, author of Wingnuts, on how a former Republican president helps define dysfunction in his own party.

Here's how crazy our politics have become: Legendary Republican President Theodore Roosevelt is being called a socialist by conservatives like Glenn Beck. The man on Mount Rushmore, the Rough Rider president, is getting caught up in a party-purity dragnet 91 years after his death, an exaggerated symptom of the rabid hunting of RINOs—"Republicans In Name Only"—that could tank the Grand Old Party.

If conservatives want to kick TR out, Obama seems ready to welcome him in. As if on cue, the president's press secretary, Robert Gibbs, announced yesterday that the president is now reading the classic The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt by Edmund Morris, a book that inspired Reagan's senior staff to tap Morris as their in-house historian during the 1980s.

Balance seems too subtle a concept for all-or-nothing absolutists. 

Beck's departure point for his now-frequent attacks on our 26th president was a post-2008 election snide swipe at John McCain, who he characterized as "this weird progressive like Teddy Roosevelt." In his subsequent book, Glenn Beck's Common Sense, Beck devoted a chapter to "The Cancer of Progressivism" and lays the blame at TR's feet, in addition to Roosevelt's rival Woodrow Wilson. It's a theme he has continued to hit on radio and TV and speeches like his keynote address at CPAC—claiming TR represents a road to "fascism"—because of actions like creating the national park system, his anti-monopoly trust-busting and his support of government interventions like the Pure Food and Drug Act. "It's big government, it's a socialist utopia and we need to address it as if it is a cancer," Beck said.

Edmund Morris: What Obama Is Learning From My Book It's all part of a determined rewriting of history that casts any Republican president not named Coolidge or Reagan as a progressive and therefore a socialist determined to undermine the Constitution. Beck proudly announces that he now uses a bust of TR as a doorstop in a symbolic show of his displeasure.
book-cover---wingnuts
Wingnuts: How the Lunatic Fringe is Hijacking America. By John Avlon. 304 Pages. Beast Books. $15.95.
This history textbook rejection of the Big Tent is based on a misreading of American history driven by ideological blinders that dumb down our politics by dividing everything into not just right vs. left, but conservatism vs. communism. Even during Teddy Roosevelt's time, a more common-sense analysis characterized the divisions in America politics as radicals, reactionaries, and progressives.

The radicals were the far leftists who wanted revolutionary change—the anarchists, communists and socialists that Roosevelt derided as "the lunatic fringe." The reactionaries were the hard-core traditionalists and conservatives who resisted all change—for example, the conservative Southern Democrats who were determined to roll back Reconstruction with Jim Crow laws and segregation.

Progressives, in this formulation, wanted responsible change. As TR said, "constructive change offers the best method of avoiding destructive change, reform is the antidote to revolution… social reform is not the precursor but the preventive of socialism."

Beneath this formulation lies larger fault lines in the Republican Party between centrist reformers and conservatives that date back to a bitter primary fight in 1912 between President William Howard Taft and Teddy Roosevelt. TR won the primaries, was denied the nomination, split off and formed the Progressive Party (aka, the Bull Moose Party). TR believed he was fighting for the legacy of Lincoln against a "corrupt alliance between crooked business and crooked politics"—and clarified, "we draw the line against misconduct, not against wealth."

These fissures surfaced again in the 1952 primary fight between Senator Robert Taft, an isolationist who opposed intervention into World War II, and General Dwight D. Eisenhower, who was called a "candidate of effeminates" by conservative chickenhawk activists at the time. President Eisenhower was later called a "dedicated, conscious agent of the communist conspiracy," by the right-wing John Birch Society.

But in an era of resurgent ideological absolutism, where the John Birch Society is welcomed as a co-sponsor of this year's CPAC after a half-century hiatus from movement conservatism, teeing off on TR in the most paranoid terms is back in fashion among the increasingly influential fringe.

It's a sign of how far our political debates have been dragged off-center. For most of the past half-century, TR has been the most popular ex-president, with dozens of biographies published each decade, earning bipartisan praise as the model of an energetic executive by almost every successor in the White House. This year has already seen the publication of Douglas Brinkley's The Wilderness Warrior and this fall Edmund Morris will complete his epic trilogy. Doris Kearns Goodwin's next book will also focus on TR.

History is a neverending debate, but while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, no one is entitled to their own facts. TR's contemporary critics should ask themselves whether big-business monopolies represent the triumph of free-market capitalism or its corruption—because open competition, the essence of free markets, is protected by reasonable regulation. When China's exportation of toys made with poisonous levels of lead is rightly criticized by talk-radio hosts like Beck, it's worth remembering that U.S. government regulations are what protect American consumers from the same abuse. All government action is not a usurpation of individual freedom—it's a matter of striking the right balance.

But balance seems too subtle a concept for all-or-nothing absolutists, especially when they are trying to lead a conservative populist revival that characterizes centrist policies as a slippery slope toward socialism and then communism. Rather than trying to purge Teddy Roosevelt from the party rolls, today's GOP leaders would do well to remember TR's example and his advice: "We Republicans must hold the just balance and set ourselves as resolutely against improper corporate influence on the one hand as against demagogy and mob rule on the other."

John Avlon's new book Wingnuts: How the Lunatic Fringe is Hijacking America is available now by Beast Books both on the Web and in paperback. He is also the author of Independent Nation: How Centrists Can Change American Politics. Previously, he served as chief speechwriter for New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani and was a columnist and associate editor for The New York Sun.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Religious Right's Ralph Reed Field-Tests Plan for Beating Obama


AlterNet.org

ELECTION 2012  

Reed's Faith and Freedom Coalition, "a 21st-century version of the Christian Coalition on steroids," is leading the effort.

 
Photo Credit: A.M. Stan
 
 A mere 10 days since Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker and Lieutenant Gov. Rebecca Kleefisch survived the recall election launched against them by state's liberal coalition, Ralph Reed, chairman of the Faith and Freedom Coalition, is ebullient as he takes the stage at his organization's Washington, D.C., gala on the final night of FFC's national conference at the Renaissance Hotel.
 
Reed has good reason to be happy; his return to the religious-right spotlight is a turn of events that few would have bet on. Since he first burst on the political scene in the 1990s as the wunderkind executive director of Rev. Pat Robertson's Christian Coalition, Reed's political trajectory took him so close to the sun that his wings nearly melted. Reed's career soared when George W. Bush signed him as a strategist for his 2000 campaign, only to crash with revelations of his involvement in the Jack Abramoff scandal. Along the way, he made a lot of money, and is reported to live with his wife and two of his four children (the other two are grown) in a house in Duluth, Ga., worth $2.2 million.

The boyish contours of his face now marked with the occasional line, Reed, at 51, still conveys a youthful vigor, fit and trim in a well-tailored dark suit, with his full head of hair brushed neatly back to display a smooth forehead. Taking no small measure of credit for the triumph of Walker and Kleefisch, Reed boasts of the 600,000 voter contacts he says his organization made to get conservative Wisconsinites to the polls on June 5. Later that evening, Reed will present to Kleefisch, who is billed as Wisconsin's answer to Sarah Palin, FFC's Courage in Leadership Award. (Kleefisch will also accept the same award for Walker, who did not attend.)

If you like what happened in Wisconsin, Reed implies, you're going to love the 2012 presidential race, when FFC reaches out to 27.1 million conservative voters; he promises that FFC will contact each of them between seven to 12 times to either get them to the polls, or better yet, vote early in states that permit it. Consider it payback, if you will, for the outcome of the 2008 presidential election.

The day after the election Barack Obama won by a wide margin, Reed says, he woke up feeling "like I'd been hit by a truck." Speaking of the Obama campaign, Reed explains: "We were embarrassed. They ran circles around us."
"I founded Faith and Freedom Coalition because I vowed that as long as I was alive, we were never going to get out-hustled on the ground again," he told a group of activists earlier in the day.

Reed has described FFC, launched in 2009, as "a 21st century version of the Christian Coalition on steroids." Reed's new organization seeks to meld the religious right with the Tea Party movement through the use of voter turnout stratedgies. But however successful he was in bringing right-wing evangelical voters to the polls during his tenure at the Christian Coalition, his managerial skills and business ethics appeared to be less than stellar.

When Reed left the Christian Coalition in 1997, the organization was in tatters, under investigation by the FEC for the kind of "electioneering" prohibited for tax-exempt non-profits by the I.R.S., and internally riven due to allegations made by chief financial officer Judy Liebert that a firm whose principals were friends of Reed's had over-billed the coalition to the tune of $1 million -- and been paid.
In 2004, Reed was implicated, though not charged, in the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal when his role as a lobbyist on behalf of the gambling interests of a Choctaw Indian tribe was disclosed in a damaging Senate investigation. While the revelations derailed his attempt to win the Republican nomination for lieutenant governor in the State of Georgia, the very religious-right friends he snookered in the Abramoff scandal appear to have forgiven him, according to Sarah Posner of Religion Dispatches.

Once again cloaked in the cape of a Christian crusader, Reed is back on the trail, doing what he does best: getting religious right-wingers to the polls.
Back at the Faith and Freedom Coalition gala, and with an eye to the media, perhaps, Reed issues what sounds like both a promise and a warning. "We're not just playing around," he says. "We're not shadowboxing; we are playing for keeps. We're playing for the most valuable prize in the history of the human race and that's the United States of America -- and we are not going to lose."

Eyes on the Prize

For Reed, however, there's likely another prize to collect, win or lose. It may be wrapped up in the old Red, White and Blue, but this prize comes in a distinctive shade of green. AlterNet learned that, in order to identify and make its 600,000 voter contacts in Wisconsin -- many of them by text messaging and e-mail subscriptions -- Faith and Freedom Coalition contracted with Millennium Marketing, a division of Century Strategies, a political consulting firm whose CEO happens to be Ralph Reed.

AlterNet contacted Billy Kirkland, FFC's national field director, by phone on June 29 to inquire about FFC's use of Millennium. "We did use them and they were a big help in Wisconsin," Kirkland said. "It was one of those things where any time you can use a new technology to reach voters and educate voters on issues that are important to them -- we're trying to be on the forefront of that, so I'd be more than happy to respond by e-mail, but I've got a 4:00 [meeting] I've got to walk into."

So I e-mailed him a few questions, including: "How much did FFC pay Millennium Marketing for what appears to be a broad array of services provided in the campaign against the Wisconsin recall?" At press time, he had yet to respond.

To billionaires willing to stake nice little chunks of their fortunes on the outcome of the 2012 races -- presidential, Senate and gubernatorial -- a little greasing of Ralph Reed's palm could be deemed a small price to pay, especially when they can launder their contributions, without fear of disclosure, through Faith and Freedom Coalition, a 501(c)(4) non-profit under the U.S. tax code. This type of organization is not required to disclose its donors to the general public. However untoward, none of this is illegal -- not the contracting of Reed's own for-profit firm by the non-profit he runs, not the undisclosed sums from undisclosed donors that help to get carefully profiled voters to the polls.

Changing the Model

Reed isn't in the business of persuasion; he doesn't waste his time on voters who aren't already on his team. His deal is to make sure those potential voters are first registered and then activated -- not unlike what the labor unions do in their get-out-the-vote campaigns (though likely with fewer billionaires to shell out for their efforts). This is where the winning margin in most elections actually resides, Reed explained at a strategy session during his conference. In fact, he suggests, the success of FFC's voter turnout operation accounted for why the polls that predicted a tight race between Walker and Milwaukee mayor Tom Barrett in the Wisconsin recall election were so wrong.

Pollsters, he explained, work from a model of the electorate that is based on the previous election: X percentages of various demographic groups. Increase the percentage of any one of those demographic groups -- say Christian conservatives -- and the model on which the poll is based is no longer valid.
"So, when you go out in your county, and you start a Faith and Freedom chapter or you work with the local party or with a local candidate or do whatever it is you're doing, and you build an organization that knocks on every door, and calls every voter and registers lots of new people to vote, guess what?" he asked. "The turnout model's wrong."

That's what happened in the Virginia gubernatorial race, Reed said, the year after Obama won the state by 5 points in the presidential election. In the 2008 race, a mere 33 percent of the Virginia electorate, Reed claimed, was conservative. But in the gubernatorial race, the Faith and Freedom Coalition turned out a religious-right base for Bob McDonnell, now considered to be a contender for the Republican vice-presidential nomination.

A talented and energetic presenter, Reed, in his strategy session titled "The Keys to Victory in 2012," peppered his audience with numbers in service of his theory, punctuated with questions he answered himself. Periodically, he asked his audience: "You with me?"

In Virginia, Reed said, "...we ran the Faith and Freedom program, and we contacted every social conservative and fiscal conservative voter an average of seven times -- we mailed 'em, we phoned 'em, we knocked on their door, we e-mailed them," Reed said. "What percentage of the electorate was conservative in 2009? Forty-one percent, according to exit polls. So the electorate went from 33 percent conservative to 41 percent conservative."

McDonnell's pollster, Glen Bolger, had projected a 10-point lead for his candidate, according to Reed, but McDonnell actually won by 18. Where did those other eight points come from? Subtract 33 from 41 and you'll find your answer, Reed said.

This year, consequently, Virginia is hardly a state Obama can take for granted. There, Reed said, FFC is building a file of 350,000 conservative households that will account for some 600,000 voters. In Florida, where Reed said Obama's 2008 margin of victory was 200,000 votes, Reed has set his sights on some 225,000 social conservatives who are not currently registered to vote, but who will be, if he has anything to say about it.

In the Wisconsin recall, Reed continued, FFC's 600,000 voter contacts ranged in form from mobile media, e-mail and snail-mail to old-fashioned door-knocking and the method that became the hallmark of the Christian Coalition under Reed's leadership during its heyday: the church-distributed voter guide. FFC doled out 100,000 of them, he said.

"So there were voters in Wisconsin who were getting e-mail from us, they were getting a text message from us, when they went to church on Sunday, our voter guide was in their church bulletin, and on Monday they got a knock on their door," Reed said. "Okay?"

After the session, I asked Reed why, if the unions are as good at turning out their base as everyone believes they are, did their Democratic allies lose the recall race.

"I think they did their job," he said. "We just did our job better...they worked to get their vote out, we worked even harder to get our vote out...But in '08, they got their vote out and we didn't get our vote out, and Obama won by a landslide. And that's what happens when you don't get your vote out."

Doing 'Better' With a Bit of Help

But Reed had more than a little help in doing his job "better," as he said. First, he was able to deploy sophisticated mobile marketing technology that the other side apparently didn't have. Second, he was able to sync his efforts to those of an old friend, Tim Phillips, president of Americans for Prosperity (the astroturf group founded by the Koch brothers) and Reed's former business partner at Century Strategies. (In fact, Reed's public unveiling of his Faith and Freedom Coalition took place at an Atlanta rally, co-sponsored by AFP, staged in opposition to healthcare reform during the 2009 summer of town-hall rage.

The Wisconsin chapter of Americans for Prosperity was one of the organization's first state-level entities, and was long run by the hard-working but notoriously dirty political operative Mark Block, who left the organization in 2011 to run Herman Cain's presidential campaign. Most of the politicians on Wisconsin's right-wing roster owe all or part of their careers to AFP: U.S.
Representatives Reid Ribble and Sean Duffy, elected in the 2010 Tea Party wave, were nurtured under the AFP wing, as was Gov. Scott Walker. Rep. Paul Ryan, chairman of the House Budget Committee, is a favorite speaker at AFP gatherings. Reince Priebus, who chaired the state Republican Party before winning the chairmanship of the Republican National Committee, at the time it was implicated in a Milwaukee vote-caging scheme executed by AFP in 2010.
When the uprising against Walker's attack on teachers and other public workers began in the state capitol in 2011, AFP launched a "Stand With Walker" campaign that it carried through to the day of the recall vote, organizing rallies and bus tours, and flooding the airwaves with advertisements.

By July of last year, Faith and Freedom Coalition was sending out direct-mail fundraising letters touting its voter canvassing efforts for the Wisconsin recall. In a letter obtained by Religion Dispatches' Sarah Posner, FFC executive director Gary Marx, who co-founded Century Strategies with Reed, used language that virtually mirrored the AFP messaging on taxes and labor unions:
Please join...the fight with 100 plus FFC activists who will be going door-to-door encouraging the Badger State to vote for candidates who share our values of lower taxes, less government, faith, and who will stand up to union thugs who support Obama's tax and spend solutions.  We need your financial support to make our Wisconsin get-out-the-vote program work.
A theme common to Walker's campaign and ads from multiple sources was the notion that the recall was somehow anti-democratic, when, in fact, it is about as direct an expression of democracy as one can find. John Nichols, Wisconsinite and labor advocate, writing in the Nation, tells of a ubiquitous ad carrying that message that appeared in the final days of the campaign, paid for by a shadowy super-PAC called the Campaign for American Values. Of the $54,265 in total receipts collected by CAV, per its last FEC filing, $50,000 came from a single donor, Rebekah Mercer, daughter of hedge -fund manager Robert Mercer, who often makes common cause with David Koch. More than a third of those PAC receipts were delivered to Herman Cain Solutions, which is run by Cain (who once famously described himself as Charles and David Koch's "brother from another mother") and Mark Block, the former state director for the Americans for Prosperity Wisconsin chapter. You with me?

So, it was hardly surprising that Reed took up the anti-recall line in his brief conversation with me after his strategy session.

"I was on the ground in Wisconsin a little bit but I wouldn't claim to be an expert on it -- but there were folks who were on the ground who told me that at a certain point, the people of Wisconsin had just had it up to here," Reed said. "They just wanted it to end. It was like, well, when does this end? The guy won an election, you're trying to negate an election, you're trying to recall everybody, and that's what elections are for. So I think that helped us on the margin..."
The other advantage Reed appears to have had in Wisconsin was technology. Faith and Freedom Coalition, he said, sent some quarter of a million text message over the course of the recall campaign. During his "Keys to Victory" strategy session, Reed urged audience members to attend a conference session called "Champion the Vote" that would address the cell-phone-based marketing techniques used by FFC during the recall campaign, and he talked up the role played by LSN Mobile.

Tech Racket

At the "Champion the Vote" panel, Scott Foernsler, described as the chief revenue officer of LSN Mobile, was joined by Rick Furr, described as co-founder and president, of the Mobile Sports Group, along with political consultant Adam Jones and FFC Florida coordinator Brett Doster. Billy Kirkland, the FFC national field director, served as moderator.

Foernsler presented himself as an expert in micro-targeting, the marketing technology that allows users to serve up advertisements on Internet-based platforms customized to whomever is viewing. For instance, when you go to a Web site that is festooned with ads from places where you happen to shop -- or whose Web sites you've recently browsed -- you've been micro-targeted. Another viewer looking at the same Web site will not see the same ads.
The New York Times describes political micro-targeting this way:
In the last few years, companies that collect data on how consumers behave both online and off and what charitable donations they make have combined that vast store of information with voter registration records. As a result, microtargeting allows campaigns to put specific messages in front of specific voters — something that has increased in sophistication with the large buckets of data available to political consultants.
Foernsler told his FFC audience that the streams of data now available to digital advertisers allow political geeks like him to profile individual voters in much greater detail than was possible before. Where a voter profile developed by traditional means might be based on the answers to a series of 10 or so questions, micro-targeters build databases of voters that answer as many as 65 questions, right down to the kind of vehicle a target drives.

The digital possibilities also allow for internal polling based on much larger samples of voters, Foernsler said. Traditional models might work from a sample of, say, 1,000 voters, but today's technologies make feasible polling that works with a sample five times as large.

On its Web site, LSN touts its prowess at a particular type of mobile advertising that is pegged to local news sites through a proprietary app that, in a May 2011 press release, LSN says has been downloaded by 5 million smart-phone users. "That means one in every 60 U.S. households has accessed the app to glean local content," reads the release."

It's not hard to see where that kind of technology, combined with micro-targeting marketing strategies, could be very useful in upping turnout.
Various targeting strategies were deployed in the Wisconsin recall, added Rick Furr, who spoke as if his company had worked with Faith and Freedom Coalition in the campaign. In an offhand remark, Furr mentioned that his Sports Media Group counted among its clients the Home Depot, the retailer co-founded by right-wing billionaire sugar-daddy Kenneth Langone.

Furr explained how he targeted somewhere between 17,000 - 20,000 conservative Wisconsin voters for text messages on the recall that included a link to the Faith and Freedom Coalition voter guide -- a link that was opened by 30 percent of those who received the text message. (See graphic, taken from Millennium Marketing's promotional packet, here.) Like the Christian Coalition voter guides of yore, the FFC guides list a number of deceptively framed issues in a table format, with the name and photo of its preferred candidate (in this case, Scott Walker) topping a red column noting whether the candidate "SUPPORTS" or "OPPOSES" those rhetorically presented positions. A photo of the opposition's candidate (Tom Barrett, of course) tops a blue column.
Faith and Freedom Coalition's guide for the gubernatorial recall election listed six issues: "abortion on demand," "parental choice in education," "taxpayer-funded abortion," "same-sex marriage," "eliminating the death tax," and "opposes any new taxes on Wisconsin families."

Text messages, Furr explained, are an especially effective means of communicating in elections, because, unlike e-mails or snail-mail appeals, they are almost always opened by recipients.

Nonetheless, Furr also ran an e-mail program for FFC in Wisconsin. One effort of which he is most proud is the targeting of conservative small-business executives. Furr said his firm collected more than 51,000 e-mail addresses in that target group, and of those targeted, only 43 individuals opted out of receiving future e-mails.

Furr also lauded the fundraising effectiveness of text messaging, especially when combined with micro-targeting. As an example, he said he could reach into databases and filter for Catholics who gave to particular charities or causes. Then he could solicit donations for the Faith and Freedom Coalition by text message through a link that immediately generated a thank-you message to the donor -- all for a mere 50-cent transaction fee. If an organization that raised funds this way wanted to do follow-up thank-you calls, that could be added to the package for a low rate of 7.5 percent of the donation, and a call center would handle the task.

Brett Doster of FFC's Florida chapter mentioned another important target group for his organization: early voters. In states where early voting is offered, it's a boon to ideologically driven groups, Doster said, because people who are inclined to vote early are mostly "philosophical voters."
To political consultants such as the panel's Adam Jones, early voters are a key to accurate internal polling, Jones explained, since 50 percent of voters in the demographic groups he's eyeing "vote before election day." A "dynamic data program" that can identify whomever voted early can help campaign operatives get a sense of what's taking place on the ground.

All Not As It Seems: The Millennium Connection

As the panel drew to a close, Rick Furr made a pitch to those in the room who lead local advocacy groups to engage his services. Those who requested them could get a packet containing information on the services his firm provides on their way out of the room.

But the packet Furr was passing out touted not his Sports Media Group, but the services of Millennium Marketing, the subsidiary of Ralph Reed's Century Strategy. Tucked inside the folder were two business cards for Millennium Marketing executive directors: Rick Furr and Scott Foernsler.

I called Furr and Foernsler at the numbers listed on their Millennium Marketing business cards. In both cases, I got voice mail. Furr's outgoing message identified him as "Rick Furr of the Sports Media Group." Neither Furr nor Foernsler returned my calls. At Century Strategies (Millennium's parent company), I spoke to a woman named Martha who would not give her last name, but who promised that Ralph Reed's assistant would call me to confirm questions I had about who was on Century's payroll. She has yet to call.
One of the case studies included in the packet features the work done by Furr and Foernsler on behalf of the Faith and Freedom Coalition in the Wisconsin recall election. It reads:
OBJECTIVE: Reach Wisconsin Republican Christians & Republican Registered Voters across the state, especially in rural and exurban areas. We reached over 327,143 Wisconsin Republican Christians voters [sic] by Email and SMS promoting our voter guide and reminding people to vote...
Whose voter guide? Millennium Marketing's voter guide or the Faith and Freedom Coalition's? (The accompanying photo, on Millennium Marketing stationery, is of the FFC voter guide.) Both the Faith and Freedom Coalition and Century Strategies occupy the same building in Duluth, Ga., in suites next door to one another.

The Faith and Freedom Coalition case study in the Millennium Marketing packet features an endorsement from FFC National Field Director Billy Kirkland:
We are very happy with the results in being able to target by zip codes, voter districts, demographics, geographic, lifestyle, consumer interests, income spending, net worth and behavioral information. Using interactive Marketing Services pertaining to SMS, Banner Advertising, and both Consumer & B2B Email. [sic] We have seen positive results and plan on incorporating this programs into our national & local campaigns in 2012. Building our database is priceless!
When I reached Kirkland for comment, he seemed caught off-guard by the inclusion of his quote in the Millennium Marketing packet. "I'd love to know what that endorsement -- Millennium Marketing?" he said. So I read the quote to him.

"I use some pretty big words in that quote," he said. Then, saying he had to go into a meeting, he concluded the call.

A Divine Appointment

In his closing remarks at the Faith and Freedom Coalition gala, Reed stated his goals for the organization, one of which is to have a $100 million budget by 2015.

In 2010, according to FFC's most recently available IRS filing, the organization took in $5.5 million, and ended up $300,000 in the red. But its intake was up astronomically from the year before, when in 2009, FFC claimed receipts of a mere $743,000. If Reed was able to increase his intake by anywhere near the same margin the following year, his current budget may be in excess of $25 million.

While media focused their attention on better-known right-wing groups such as Americans for Prosperity, Reed has been quietly building his scrappy little organization in the hopes of winning Mitt Romney the presidency, and a nice financial windfall for Reed, who helped engineer George W. Bush's 2000 victory for the Republican presidential nomination.

Calling his faithful to action, Reed urged them to engage their friends and neighbors in his 2012 voter turnout effort. "I want you to consider this a divine appointment," he said. Then he left the stage to make way for Rebecca Kleefisch, lieutenant governor of Wisconsin, the intended exemplar of what Reed could accomplish on a polarized electoral landscape.

Petite and attractive, in a shiny green silk skirt suit and with a Sarah Palin-style hairdo, Kleefisch told the story of the Wisconsin recall in the right-wing style, painting her opponents as dangerous and threatening. She, too, called upon the Faith and Freedom Coalition audience to action.

"My hope is that Wisconsin encourages others to lead with servants' hearts," she said.

This piece has been corrected. The description of the FFC voter guide previously said it listed candidates' position as "yes" or "no," and was framed as all 'yes" notations for Scott Walker. 

Adele M. Stan is AlterNet's Washington correspondent. Follow her on Twitter: www.twitter.com/addiestan

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Republican Party Descends Rapidly Into Moral Insanity

AlterNet.org


The New York Times covers a Pew poll with some data about polarization:


[T]rends suggest that Americans are not vastly more polarized than they were in the late 1980s but that they have increasingly sorted themselves into two ideologically cohesive political parties.

During this time, Republicans have moved farther to the right — on economic issues, at least — than Democrats have moved to the left. Asked whether the government should take care of people who cannot take care of themselves, 75 percent of Democrats now say yes, down only slightly from 79 percent in 1987. But just 40 percent of Republicans say so, down from 62 percent in 1987.

Republicans’ support for stricter laws to protect the environment has fallen even more sharply.

But the views of Democrats have shifted on some economic issues as well, with Democrats becoming more strongly in favor of government steps to ensure equal opportunity. On social issues, like gay rights, Democrats have moved more than Republicans.

The poll, released Monday, suggested that Democrats have opinions closer to those of the country as a whole on gay rights and Wall Street. Republicans are closer to the national mood on affirmative action and whether the government should go deeper into debt to help the poor.
Bottom line? Since 1980 Republicans have moved much, much farther to the right. Democrats have also moved to the right on economic issues, but have moved somewhat to the left on social issues. Meanwhile, Democrats are much more in line with the public on core issues, while Republicans play very well on the public's racism. Of course, there's a problem with Pew creates a caricature of the liberal argument, postulating that Democrats want to go into more debt to help "the poor." On the contrary. The People's Budget balances the budget, while austerity measures are doomed to make the economy worse, decreasing tax revenue and increasing the deficit. Progressive Democrats want to close the deficit by clawing back some of the wealth essentially stolen by the richest 1%, and using it to help both the poor and the middle class, thus reinvigorating the economy while reducing unemployment and closing the deficit.

That side, though, here's the shocking bit, straight from the Pew Poll's analysis itself:

Just 40% of Republicans agree that “It is the responsibility of the government to take care of people who can’t take care of themselves,” down 18 points since 2007. In three surveys during the George W. Bush administration, no fewer than half of Republicans said the government had a responsibility to care for those unable to care for themselves. In 1987, during the Ronald Reagan’s second term, 62% expressed this view.
In just five years, the percentage of Republicans who say the government should take care of people who can't take care of themselves has dwindled by 18 percentage points. That's no minor shift. That is a political party in the throes of a descent into moral madness.
By David Atkins | Sourced from Hullabaloo

Posted at July 6, 2012, 8:36 am

Republicans Cut off Food Assistance to Millions of Americans who own a Car


Republicans Cut off Food Assistance to Millions of Americans who own a Car




It can be rightly presumed that extremely severe and unusually cruel conduct that is mutinous to the rules of right or virtuous conduct is considered Draconian, or in 2012 terminology, Republican. It seems that every budget proposal or new legislation submitted by the GOP is another opportunity for them to show their lack of compassion for the American people and apparently there is no end to the depth of depravity they are willing to go to cause suffering in the populace to reward corporate America. This week, Republicans in the House maintained their reputation as Draconian stewards of America’s purse strings and crafted a “compromise” farm bill that cuts billions of dollars from the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program (SNAP) or informally, food stamps, and increases farm subsidies to the corporate agriculture industry.

At a time when 46 million Americans (one half are children) depend on food stamps to avoid dire poverty and daily hunger, Republicans who created this sluggish economy decided that several million poor Americans should lose their eligibility to qualify for assistance because it is the fiscally responsible thing to do. The Republican plan eliminates “categorical eligibility” which means that a family living at or below the poverty line that owns a dependable car will be cut off of food assistance. According to Republicans, a dependable automobile will be figured in to the family’s income and when they are near the eligibility cut-off point, even a moderately-priced used car sends them over the limit. The plan also means that several hundred thousand low-income children will lose access to free or reduced-priced school meals based on the elimination of categorical eligibility. It is the perfect method for Republicans to punish poor Americans by not only cutting off food assistance at home, but completes the hunger cycle by keeping children hungry throughout the school day.

The GOP plan forces low-income families to choose between owning a dependable car to commute to their jobs and feeding their families and it may be a new low for Republicans, but as the past year-and-a-half has shown, they can always exceed their current Draconian spending habits, especially where the poor are concerned. In fact, since they took control of the House in 2011, Republicans have worked diligently to portray any social safety net spending as wasteful regardless that, at its peak, the SNAP program was only .52% of GDP and it kept 5 million Americans from sinking into abject poverty in 2011, and cut the number of children living in extreme poverty by 50%. However, Republicans are unfazed by a UNICEF report that ranked the United States in second place for the percentage of children living in poverty at 23.1% behind Latvia, and above 33 of the world’s richest countries of which America is the richest, so achieving number one status is within their reach.

Republicans have attempted to perpetuate the myth that African Americans and Latinos make up the lion’s share of SNAP recipients, but the truth is that out of 46-million Americans living in poverty, 31 million are white, ten million are African American, and the remainder were Hispanic and Asian. During the Republican presidential primary race, a common theme was that Republicans did notwant to make black people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money” and it plays on the racism rampant in American society. Presidential candidate Willard Romney saidI’m not concerned about the very poor” because there are safety nets, but he plans on throwing 13-million low-income Americans off of food stamps.  It is a common theme for Republicans and informs a recent poll that found only 40% of Republicans agree that “it is the responsibility of the government to take care of people who can’t take care of themselves” and it demonstrates a growing lack of compassion for those struggling in the Republican-caused economic malaise. As a contrast, 75% of Democrats say the government should help those who cannot sustain themselves and their position is more in line with public sentiment.
This moral depravity on the part of Republicans is not a matter of fiscal responsibility, because every food dollar spent generates $1.80 in economic activity that creates jobs, increases tax revenue, and keeps millions of Americans and their children out of extreme poverty. Each food dollar spent also gives farmers $.21 besides their subsidies, and with high crop and land prices, and a record $136.3 billion in farm exports in 2011, it is egregious to cut food stamps while increasing subsidies. In fact, for the first time in 2011, farm income exceeded $100 billion and so far this year it is forecast to reach $91.7 billion, the second-highest on record. Still, it is not good enough for the agri-corp industry and Republicans who are duty-bound to give as much taxpayer dollars to corporations at the expense of working-poor, elderly, and children to create a population of peasants barely subsisting to bolster the wealthy’s profits.
Republicans claim they are being fiscally responsible and doing the will of the American people, but a recent poll by the Food Research and Action Center (FRAC) disclosed that 74% of Americans say the SNAP program is very important and 71% say cutting SNAP is the wrong way for Congress to reduce spending. The GOP thinks otherwise and the Paul Ryan and Willard Romney budgets make more drastic cuts to SNAP and increase the deficit by $4 – $6.7 trillion with incredible tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations.  The FRAC poll also found support for SNAP and ending hunger is strong among all demographics and political groups with 91% of Democrats, 70% of Independents, and 56% of “strong” Republicans believing SNAP is a very important program. Obviously, Republicans in Congress and aspiring to the White House are out of touch with Americans who have a strong moral compass and not tied to enriching the wealthy at the expense of the poor whether they are white, Black, or Hispanic, and especially children.

There are many Republicans who claim there is widespread fraud among SNAP recipients, and the Republican financial guru Paul Ryan said, “you know we get all these reports about how the SNAP program is rife with fraud, how it’s not getting the assistance to the people who need it,” but the truth is the “errors” in administering SNAP payments are within the 1% range and they are not fraud, but mistakes within the program’s administration; the only fraud is from vendors who double-bill and cheat the government with unsubstantiated receipts. The eligibility requirements to receive SNAP are so stringent that it is all but impossible for program participants to qualify much less cheat.

The Republicans’ drastic cuts to SNAP are not for fiscal responsibility, to staunch fraudulent claims, or to teach low-income children the value of work. Their cuts are to make room for more subsidies for corporate agriculture and to create higher poverty numbers, and possibly to reach number one in industrial nations with the most children living in poverty. With their version of the farm bill, they will approach Romania’s 25% of children in poverty and create another 3 million Americans going to bed hungry every night, and eliminating categorical eligibility means a family head gets to choose between feeding their family or selling their used car and walking to work. It is possible that Republicans think SNAP recipients are proud to take government assistance, but the stigma attached to using food stamps creates psychological stress and embarrassment to people who would rather have a living wage job that Republicans will not help create.

Republicans are just cruel and unusually severe in their treatment of Americans whose only crime is living in an economy created by Republicans for the wealthy and their corporations, and are ill-inclined to pass President Obama’s jobs bills when they can fight for more tax cuts for the wealthy and subsidies for corporate agriculture. It has been nearly a year since the President proposed jobs bills the Republicans will not even bring up for discussion, much less a vote, and their big plans before the election are extending Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthy, casting symbolic votes to repeal the Affordable Care Act, and now, cutting millions of low-income Americans’ eligibility for food stamps. There are few words to describe the Republicans in Congress, except that they are evil incarnate and the scourge of this country for sending millions of elderly,
disabled, and children off the SNAP program to make room for more corporate entitlements in the form of subsidies to an industry that is awash in cash, making record profits, and getting free taxpayer money the American people would rather see go to feed the poor; something entirely alien to Republican monsters who are devoid of compassion, unusually severe, lacking a moral compass, and mutinous to the rules of right and virtuous conduct. In other words, they are the scum of the Earth.

Monday, July 2, 2012

The Republicans’ Biggest Obsession

THINK

PROGRESS



The Progress Report logo

The Republicans’ Biggest Obsession



GOP Focused on Old Battles, Not Moving America Forward

As we discussed Friday, the Supreme Court’s ruling upholding Obamacare has really thrown Republicans for a loop. Things didn’t get any better over the weekend. Instead of moving on and working to move the country forward, Republicans are continuing to obsess over taking away people’s health care. They don’t seem to have a coherent strategy or a plan to match their obsession — just a commitment to turn health care back over to the insurance companies at the expense of jobs or our economy.

Here’s the rundown on the GOP’s all-over-the-map behavior on health care.
  • VOTE TO TAKE AWAY POPULAR BENEFITS, AGAIN: After Thursday’s ruling, Republicans immediately announced that next week they’ll once again vote to put the insurance companies back in control, take away health coverage from more than 30 million Americans, and rescind popular benefits that millions of young Americans, seniors, and children with pre-existing conditions, among others, are already experiencing. It seems that Republicans want to waste time re-fighting old battles instead of working on jobs or the economy.
  • LEAVE TENS OF MILLIONS WITHOUT INSURANCE: Senate Minority Leader McConnell (R-KY) admitted yesterday that, for Republicans, providing health care to the uninsured “is not the issue.”
  • THROW OUT THE POPULAR PARTS TOO: Meanwhile, Rep. Steve King (R-IA) says he won’t countenance any talk of keeping even the wildly popular parts of Obamacare, adding, “it’s all or none.”
Special note to Republicans: according to today’s Kaiser poll, 56 percent of people are ready for Republicans to stop trying to block the health care law’s implementation and move on.

Watch this space tomorrow for more on the other issues that Republicans obsess over instead of working on jobs or the economy.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

How Right-Wingers Scam People Into Buying Their Toxic Philosophy


AlterNet.org

Here is what progressives can learn from right-wing messaging.

 
Photo Credit: ShutterStock.com

Progressives often find themselves explaining the details of their preferred policies, and arguing that they would maximize the common good if enacted. Conservatives, on the other hand, tend to eschew the fine print to embrace sweeping, moral narratives to back their positions. For the Right, debates over concrete public policies are often framed as contests between good and evil, freedom and tyranny; that's how, for example, conservatives can transform a modest 3 percent tax hike on the wealthiest Americans into pernicious “class warfare” and an intolerable example of “socialism.”

Call it a "rationality trap." For years, George Lakoff, a cognitive linguist at the University of California Berkeley, has argued that these tendencies put progressives at a huge disadvantage in our political discourse because the human brain simply doesn't process information in coolly analytical terms. Rather, people judge ideas against a larger moral framework, and by offering policy analysis rather than morality tales, liberals go to bat for their policies two strikes down in the count.

Lakoff and co-author Elisabeth Wehling discuss how these dynamics play out every day in American political debates in his new book, The Little Blue Book: The Essential Guide to Thinking and Talking Democratic. He appeared on this week's AlterNet Radio Hour; below is a lightly edited transcript of the discussion (you can listen to the whole show here).

Joshua Holland: George, in the book you talk about what you call “moral frames.” Can you give us a quick definition of what that is and how it plays out in our discourse?

George Lakoff: Yes. All politics is moral at the base. Any political leader who gives you some sort of prescription of what to do does it because he says it’s right, not because he says it’s wrong or doesn’t matter. Everybody thinks it’s right.

But there are two different ideas of what right is. This is very important. Let me give you a short version of this that applies mostly to economics. The basic idea behind democracy in America is the idea that citizens care about each other; that they act socially as well as individually to cash out that care, and they try to do as well as they can in doing that both for themselves and for others. They do this by having the government create what we call “the public.” The public provision of things; things for everybody – roads, bridges, sewers, public education and public health, like the Centers for Disease Control. Clean air, clean water, the provision of energy, communications and so on. These are all the sorts of things that you can’t live a life without. A private life or a private enterprise. Every business depends on all of these things. The private depends on the public. That is a moral issue. That is how we care about each other.
Conservatives have a very different view of democracy, which follows their moral system. Their moral system is more complex than ours is. The basic idea in terms of economics is that democracy gives people the liberty to seek their self interest and their own well-being without worrying or being responsible for the well-being or interest of anybody else. Therefore they say everybody has individual responsibility, not social responsibility, therefore you’re on your own. If you make it that’s wonderful. That’s what the market is about. If you don’t make it, that’s your problem.

Those are two opposite views of a moral system applied to economics. Those are straightforward, everyday examples. They apply very interestingly in the case of privatization. The right says, 'privatize as much as possible. Get rid of as much of the public as you possibly can. Make everything private if possible.' The other side says no. The public requires hiring private contractors all the time -- to build roads or public buildings -- but there’s a limit. And the limit has to do with morality. When it comes to moral issues like education, health or the environment -- which has everything to do with morality and people caring about each other -- there you don’t put that in private hands for private profit. That is the line that needs to be drawn.

Those are truths that are deeply embedded in the point of view of a progressive morality. There are other truths that are from conservative morality. They’re opposites, and because they’re opposites you’re going to get conflict. One thing that’s important to understand is that most people have a little of both. Most people are conservative about some things and progressive about others. Some people are almost all progressive and some are almost all conservative.

But there are a lot of people who are mixed and they’re called moderates or centrists, though there is no explicit ideology of the moderation. There’s no ideology of the independent or the swing voter. What you have are two different moral systems in the same brain which inhibit each other. One is active and the other is inactive. Activity in one turns off the other. The more one is active the stronger it gets and the weaker the other one gets.

What’s happened in this country is that language activates that moral system. The moral system is realized in frames. Frames are conceptual structures that we use to think in context. Language is defined in terms of those frames. When you use language that is conservative it’ll activate conservative frames which in turn activates conservative moral systems and strengthens those systems in people’s brains. That’s been happening for the past three decades. Conservatives have a remarkable communication system and a language system that they’ve constructed. They get out there and use their language and frames and repeat them over and over. The more they repeat it the greater their effect on people’s brains. Democrats don’t do that and as a result the conservatives have framed almost every issue.

What The Little Blue Book does is show how to deal with that. How to understand your own moral frames and how to see deep truths that conservative frames hide. For example: that the private depends on the public.

JH: I think this is a really important point that you get at in the book – that people don’t evaluate issues in isolation. Sometimes you’ll see the polling on something --  one example is that overwhelming majorities of people, even those who identify as conservative, say the government should do more to alleviate poverty. But when you get into specific policies that would achieve that end, you find very different results.
You write, “when you mention a specific issue all of the frames and values higher up in the hierarchy are also activated. They define the moral context of the issue.”
So, are we all just fooling ourselves when we cite public opinion on some issue or another, and assuming that people will rationally support politicians who agree with us on those issues?

GL: Yes, you’re fooling yourself. Let me give you some striking examples of that. A lot of it depends on how the questions in the poll will be framed. When Obama was elected, before he took office, he had his pollster go out and check to see what possible provisions of a healthcare plan people would like. It turned out the provisions like capping expenses, or covering people with preconditions, or allowing your children to be on your healthcare plan when you go to college -- everybody liked those, like 60 to 80 percent of people, and they still do.

What was interesting is that conservatives never attacked them. Conservatives never came out and said we shouldn't cover preconditions or you shouldn’t have your children on your healthcare plan. They didn’t attack any of those provisions. What they did is they went to morality, as it is from their perspective. They said we’re going to have two moral principles here, freedom and life. From their perspective this was a government takeover and there were death panels. And they repeated government takeover and death panels over and over until a lot of the public – people who liked all of the provisions of the plan -- were now against the plan. The plan got minority support.

So here you have the president come out week after week, and David Axelrod coming out, saying this is a wonderful plan and here are the provisions. David Axelrod at one point sent out a memo to all the people on the Obama list -- 13 million -- saying go to your neighbors and here are 24 points of the plan to remember, but just to make it easier there are three groups of eight. Nobody remembers those three groups of eight. Meanwhile the other guys are saying government takeover and death panels.

JH: A while back, I interviewed Richard Viguerie, who is a longtime conservative activist. He said something very interesting to me. He said that his fellow travelers were descendants of monarchists, and as a result, they were very receptive to top-down messaging strategy in a way that liberals are not.
We do see this again and again where you get very similar talking points from the lowest level of the conservative blogosphere to members of the Senate Republican Caucus. Is there a tendency for liberals or progressive people to not be as easily swayed by messages that are coming from above?

GL: No. They’re just as easily swayed. Turn on MSNBC and you’ll hear the same messages every night. You get talking points from the DNC and they’re all about policies. You’re going to talk about this policy and that policy and so on, but you’re not going to talk about morality.

There was a period when I was involved with a think tank called the Rockridge Institute, and MoveOn, when it was a young organization, asked its members for the 2004 election what they wanted to see in the future of the country. They thought they would get hundreds and hundreds of new proposals. They had people pair up and have a discourse about the kinds of things they wanted to see. We got a big stack of all these things and started going through them. After about the first half inch, they were all the same. Everybody said the same thing.
If you go and look at progressive foundations and look at their mission statements there are between a dozen and two dozens things they all say, and then they’re all the same. Progressive are just the same as conservatives on it, but they don’t know how to communicate their messages. What they wind up doing is talking about policies, rather than the moral basis of those policies.

JH: I think one of the most important trends in our politics these days is the mainstreaming of extremism on the Right. I certainly remember when Bill Clinton was in office you had these militia guys running around. There were these crazy conspiracy theories – Clinton was accused of drug trafficking and murdering a bunch of his political opponents. Those views were kind of consigned to the fringe -- your crazy right-wing uncle would forward chain emails with this stuff.
Now you see politicians like Michele Bachmann who believe that energy efficient lightbulbs are some sort of UN plot to undermine the free enterprise system. You have elected politicians going on Fox and saying that Obama wasn’t born in this country. In the book, you talk about this trend. How does this new extremism fit into your analogy about families? You've long said that conservatives look toward a strict father figure in governance, and liberals tend to embrace a more nurturing parent model.

GL: This goes back to 1996 to a book I wrote called Moral Politics, which talks about that at great length. The idea is this: we understand that we have two very different family models in this country. They rise from two different understandings of morality. Morality as nurturing and morality as obedience to legitimate authority. Those give rise to different types of families. A strict father family has a father who is the ultimate authority which cannot be challenged. His job is to teach kids right from wrong, assuming he knows that, and his wife’s job is to uphold his views. The children are taught right from wrong by punishment, and painful enough punishment so that they’ll try to discipline themselves to do right and not wrong. And then if they have that discipline they can go out into the world and be prosperous. If they’re not prosperous that means they’re not disciplined and so they deserve their poverty.

This idea projects onto every aspect of social life, not just to our national life but also onto the market, onto religion, onto foreign policy, the military and so on. What that does is create a very different view than progressives have about all of these things. When you have a lot of people with both of these views -- we all grow up with both of them there -- each one is in a neural circuit. That neural circuit is in mutual opposition to another neural circuit. Each of those two inhibit each other. When one of those circuits is activated over and over, more than the other, the stronger it gets and the weaker the inactive one gets. The stronger one of these circuits gets, the more influence it’s going to have over various issues.

What has happened over the years since the “Gingrich revolution” is that he worked to get rid of candidates in the Republican Party who were partly progressive. He made them as conservative as possible and he got conservative messaging. That messaging went unchallenged by Democrats. They just responded with policies. So the conservative messages have been getting stronger over the years and conservative populism has been growing because there are a lot of working people in this country, especially men, who are strict fathers at home. Those ideas of “family values” can then be extended into political, economic and religious ideas. That’s what’s happened.

There has been more and more of an audience for conservatism because those ideas become stronger in the brain because of the media control of the Right. It’s not illegitimate media control. The Left could do just as well but they don’t because they don’t know how to speak in moral terms. What happens is that as the parts of those people’s brains gets stronger you get more and more extreme conservatism. That’s not surprising. It just follows from the fact that they have a very strong and communicative system that Democrats don’t and don’t want to put into effect. That has been a very effective system. The way that people’s brains work will just give this result.

Joshua Holland is an editor and senior writer at AlterNet. He is the author of The 15 Biggest Lies About the Economy: And Everything else the Right Doesn't Want You to Know About Taxes, Jobs and Corporate America. Drop him an email or follow him on Twitter.

Friday, June 29, 2012

The 10 Most Hilariously Unhinged Right-Wing Reactions to the Obamacare Ruling


AlterNet.org


TEA PARTY AND THE RIGHT  


Over-the-top? You betcha!

 
Photo Credit: ShutterStock.com
 
 
When Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker beat back a recall effort, we learned that conservatives aren't exactly gracious in victory. On Thursday, when Chief Justice John Roberts joined the Supreme Court's moderate bloc to uphold ObamaCare. we discovered that the Right is nothing less than unhinged in defeat.

The remarkable thing about the heated debates about the law over the last three years is just how modest these reforms really are, especially when one considers how screwed up our healthcare system was to begin with.

The reality is that there is no "government takeover" underway. Some lower-middle-class families are going to get some subsidies to buy insurance, maybe ten million or so more poor people will be eligible for Medicaid. Insurers will get some new regulations that are popular even among Republicans.

And with Thursday's ruling, the government can no longer mandate that you carry insurance, it can only levy a small tax on those who don't. The real-world impact of that? Only an estimated 1 percent of the population will face the tax – a tax that maxes out at 1 percent -- and it may not even be enforceable!

But for the Right, a moderate expansion of health coverage and some new insurance regulations are, simply put, the worst things that ever happened. How bad is it? Well imagine that in the midst of the Holocaust, a meteor crashed to earth, destroying the entire planet. And as planet Earth exploded, it opened up a tear in the space-time continuum that swallowed up the entire galaxy. Thursday's ruling was, apparently, almost that bad.

For your reading pleasure, we've collected some of the most hilariously over-the-top freakouts we've seen. Enjoy!

1. Totally Not Exaggerating!

Baby-faced Breitbart editor Ben Shapiro offers a coolly dispassionate analysis of yesterday's ruling...
2. Wait Until They Discover That They Use the Metric System

BuzzFeed found a bunch of conservatives so freaked out by this tyranny that they're throwing in the towel and heading north to that right-wing paradise known as Canada – a place that has both universal healthcare and gay marriage...
3. Health Insurance Is So Much Worse Than the Murder of 3,000 People

It's a good thing Mike Pence is a reasonable conservative.
In a closed door House GOP meeting Thursday, Indiana congressman and gubernatorial candidate Mike Pence likened the Supreme Court's ruling upholding the Democratic health care law to the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, according to several sources present.
He immediately apologized.
4. Grab Your Musket and Tri-Corner Hat!

Did you know that the Founding Fathers fought a revolution to keep people uninsured. It's true!
Wonkette:
Now that poors can get health insurance because the demon Supreme Court sided with that commie muslin NOBAMA fella, the only way to defend our freedom is armed insurrection! Mount up and ride to the sound of the gun says former Michigan Republican Party spokesman Matthew Davis.
Matthew Davis, an attorney in Lansing, sent the email moments after the Supreme Court ruling to numerous new media outlets and limited government activists with the headline: “Is Armed Rebellion Now Justified?”
Davis added his own personal note saying, “… here’s my response. And yes, I mean it.”
“There are times government has to do things to get what it wants and holds a gun to your head,” Davis said. “I’m saying at some point, we have to ask the question when do we turn that gun around and say no and resist.
5. Revolution Is in the Air

Davis wasn't alone. Here's Matthew Vadum, author of Zombie Acorn Is Coming to Eat Your Face!
6. A Constitutional Scholar He Is Not...

Rand Paul really needs to peruse Article 3...
Politico:
Sen. Rand Paul doesn’t think the Supreme Court gets the last word on what’s constitutional.
The Kentucky Republican belittled the high court’s health care decision as the flawed opinion of just a “couple people.”
“Just because a couple people on the Supreme Court declare something to be ‘constitutional’ does not make it so. The whole thing remains unconstitutional,” the freshman lawmaker said in a statement.
7. Health Insurance Is Exactly Like Slavery

It's not just Ben Shapiro – Richard Viguerie, a stalwart of the conservative movement since the Goldwater days, also reminisced about Dred Scott.
Today, a 5-4 majority of the Supreme Court of the United States – the body the Framers of the Constitution created to protect the citizenry from tyranny – has chosen to join infamous courts of the past, such as the Taney Court that made the Dred Scott v. Sanford decision finding that slaves had no rights and the Fuller Court that ruled to institutionalize Jim Crow discrimination in Plessy v. Ferguson in stripping Americans of their freedom.
8. You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry

An unspoken virtue of Obamacare is that it might just make Glenn Beck's head explode. From his site, The Blaze:
Needless to say, the news [of the ruling] went over like a lead balloon with Glenn Beck and his radio co-hosts Pat and Stu — so much so that they nearly violated FCC language requirements.
When Beck and his team found out that it was in fact Roberts’ decision that pushed the bill through, they were visibly and audibly stunned. Beck surmised that the reason for Roberts’ decision likely hinges on the pervasive nature of progressivism.
“Progressivism is a disease and it is in both parties” Beck said.
“Progressives are fascists.”
Beck, looking on the one positive he feels to have come from this decision, said that the “Lord works in mysterious ways.”
OK, Glenn Beck.

9. John Roberts: Traitor!

Every fundamentalist religion abhors apostates, and American conservatism is no exception. As Alex Seitz-Wald detailed in Salon, the Chief Justice was treated to an abundance of bile.
“It’s patently absurd,” seethed Seton Motley, a conservative activist with LessGovernment.org. “This is the umpire calling the game for the first five innings, and then putting on a cap and glove and play first base...
“I have a message for Chief Justice Roberts,” Dean Clancy of the Tea Party group Freedomworks declared over the loudspeaker after the ruling came down. “The power to tax is the power to destroy”...
Bryan Fischer, the prominent Christian-right activist, toldBuzzFeed’s Rosie Gray that Roberts “is going down in history as the justice that shredded the Constitution and turned it into a worthless piece of parchment”
10. Or Is He?

Unlike most constitutional experts, some conservative bloggers thought that the law was so obviously unconstitutional that something fishy must be going on...
Someone got to Roberts. I bet they got to him and told him he has to vote this way or members of his family – kids, wife, parents, whoever – were going to be killed.
Later this afternoon, it’s going to come out that Roberts was coerced. ... the whole story will come out, Roberts will issue his REAL opinion, and Obama and Axelrod will be taken away in handcuffs.
Hey, one can always hope!
 
Joshua Holland is an editor and senior writer at AlterNet. He is the author of The 15 Biggest Lies About the Economy: And Everything else the Right Doesn't Want You to Know About Taxes, Jobs and Corporate America. Drop him an email or follow him on Twitter.